Erbil Iraq to Washington D.C.
February, 2012
Well – this is an example of the reason I am jaded travelista. I think this should be my opening blog post for the website.
Start of adventure – Erbil, Iraq – 8 hrs ahead of east coast US. I have to get up at 130 am to be picked up at 200 am for a 415 departure from Erbil Iraq. All goes smoothly. I take an ambien at 8 pm to get some sleep but end up sleeping for about 3 hrs then waking up to handle emails in DC and then plug in all of my electronics for one last charge before I go back to bed to doze for another hour. Get up at 1230 am – have a gnu bar and tea. Double check the office. Call husband before he goes to bed. Double check passport, print out of eticket, make sure everything needed during the flight is in the “underseat” bag. Walk to car – ride to airport, say thank you and goodbye to the very nice driver, security escort and expediter.
Airport check in and security totally normal. Note new information on Erbil airport in Airport section. Go to lounge – very limited service, but have a decent red wine (because everything else is not really cold) – because even though it’s 3 am in Erbil it’s 7 PM in DC. Have a couple of semi-moist mini pizzas to complement the wine.
45 minutes before boarding – to be safe, because you never know what’s required for security – I head to the gate. Stand in line for xraying. Go into special booth for female scan. Not a problem. Very professional. Scan the boarding lounge. Where will the boarding take place? Position near boarding door for quick access – business class boards first, right? Hah!! That expectation cannot be relied upon in non-western airports. One always hopes. But just in case the process does not allow for proper stacking of boarding priority, it’s important to be positioned near the door so that you avoid the rush when boarding is announced. And, one can demonstrate to the attendants one’s priority status – many times they remember you from the check-in, so they reach for your boarding pass first when there are twenty hands thrusting paper at them. Many times, it’s not announced – (as it was not in this case) – it’s merely implied, by a communication from one airline person to the passenger immediately in front of him/her – and it’s expected (I suppose) that the information will ripple through the crowd without the need for anything as expensive and complicated as a PA system. And, in most cases it does, except that there are usually numerous false alarms, where every twitch of the uniformed personnel is interpreted as a possible pre-boarding signal, and the crowd reacts accordingly.
In this case that was very true, because - we sat/stood in the boarding area from 3:15 to 4:00 to 4:30 (departure time was 415) and finally at 445 the uniformed person said to me and a couple of others crowded in the front (due to his continued movements back and forth from walkway door to the podium). Well – finally he said “PLEASE SIT DOWN – 20 MINUTES, 20 MINUTES”. Okay….. I have a connection in Istanbul and I have a 1.5 hour window to make it. We are now….. at least an hour late. I try to stay calm, working through scenarios (we can make up the time, the gates will be close together) – Jaded travelista rule #1,252 do not waste minutes of your age or your grey matter stressing over “what ifs” that will in all likelihood turn out fine. Save your serious stress for times when…..
The plane boards one hour and fifteen minutes late, and it’s a totally full plane, and it goes ever so slowly…..and you ask the flight Attendant – “do you think we will make it because I have a connection at 725?” and she says sure, I am sure we will make it. And then the captain says the flying time is 2.5 hours, and you run the math – and it does not work. So, ask the FA again – do you think you can ask them to wait? It’s only going to be ten minutes, and she says “sure” they will call and ask. So you reeelaaax again – choose to relax, because, in all honesty what the fuck can you do at that point?
Arriving Istanbul – watching the screen, the plane will land at the same time the Vienna flight is scheduled to leave. Fuck. Ok – well – snow on the ground in Istanbul – piles around. Watch as the plane enters the terminal area – surely, it’s Turkish Air, they will get a stand at the terminal? Nope. Watch in resigned despair as we pull up to a slushy snowy stand on the tarmac. Takes ten minutes for the mobile steps to make it over. Another ten at least as people struggle down the steps and slog through puddles and piles of snow.
We hit the terminal, and people break out running to try to make their connections. I ask at info center where the gate for Vienna is, she tells me – ALL the way down at the end of a concourse – and “hurry ma’am” she says helpfully. Well, I do – I run as much as I can with rolly and shoulder bag all the way down and find an empty boarding gate and “last call” on the monitor. I am screwed. Buttonhole a hapless (but not friendly) Turkish air rep walking down the hall with my woeful story, and he is not sympathetic. I start looking for transit or information desk.
Here comes the strategy. Start dialing the 1-800 number for emergency assistance of my travel agent. Call fails. Call fails. I start venting nasty words. Sweating from the run down the hall. Wired and having tenuous control on my emotions from lack of sleep and general work stresses over the past few days. I find transit. Stand in line while waiting for someone to answer. No one answers. Line guy tells me “go to Turkish Air transit desk – over there…”. I go there – it’s a massive line. Look for Business queue and there is a sign – Business Go to Gate 219!! Slog back down the hallway, looking for the gate – I am at gate 205.
Business class line is not too bad. I give up on 1-800 travel and decide to try United Global Services line. She tells me Turkish has already re-booked me on 340 flight, but as far as my Austrian connection in Vienna she doesn’t know whether she can help me. I ask the Turkish guy when I finally get up there – yes he can help me with Turkish, but not Austrian. I call BACK global services and ask them if they can rebook me on Austrian. No sense going to Vienna on Turkish if I can’t get the connection on Austrian!!
Sit there for……god I don’t know 20 minutes? It’s now 9:15 ish, I arrived at 745. The Turkish guy tells me to go up to the business lounge to get my boarding pass, and the Global Services guy tells me I have a reservation on Austrian – but he can’t trade the ticket because I had already checked in and Austrian reservation center is closed for some reason…..and he can’t get me “offloaded” from today’s flight so that he can rebook for tomorrow. Fine – take what I have and go upstairs to the lounge because I am dead on my feet and thirsty and I have to pee.
Stop at the lounge desk to print my pass – while they fool with it, I hear two guys who are going to DC get told that there is a direct Turkish air flight TODAY!! And there is space!! Excellent. I ask the girl – how about that, can I do it? (in my mind I am thinking this will not be easy from a corporate travel point of view, but also at this point I don’t care, all I want to do is go home, and I do not want to spend the night in Vienna or Istanbul!!) Well – nothing but economy. Sorry – too far for that.
She sends me into the lounge promising to bring me the boarding pass. I go straight to the computers – do not get water, drink, snack or anything. Need to get the hotel in Vienna done. As I am doing this I think – “why not try the travel 1-800 again?” maybe there is another way to get out of here that United would not tell me about - I know about the Delta flight, and that requires overnight in Istanbul. But who knows, there may be a way to go somewhere that will have a connection to DC tonight. So I call. SHE ANSWERS!! Almost immediately!!
Explain my problem – and in about 5 minutes flat she comes up with American/British Air to London (even earlier than the Vienna flight would have been) and a nice quick connection from London to IAD. Halleleuia Jesus. Do it do it do it I say. Cancel and refund the other one – done she says, and I close the window for reservations at the Hilton Danube Vienna. Finally allow myself to go to the bathroom. Get water. Make and quickly drink a gin and tonic. Now I feel like I’m poaching in the Turkish lounge, since I’m no longer a Turkish customer. Not hungry anyway. OK!! Now I have to figure out how to get back out to the counters so that I can check in with BA.
I get directions from info center – poor harassed person…..and I see in front of me a sign for the British Airways lounge!! Hmmmm…. I wonder whether they could check me in? And so here I am. Having a beer and some chips and waiting for the guy to come issue my boarding passes. Looking out the window at back service street of the airport. Much smaller, much less food and beverage options, far less opulent than Turkish lounge. But I feel so good to be here. At last. Back on reasonably firm ground.